What A Loser Tee

Uh-oh DIY gang, it looks like we have a sellout on our hands! Pat Jenkins, former guitarist of the now-defunct legendary hardcore group Risk Damage, was just spotted leaving a Barnes & Nobel in Geneva, Illinois. The once hardcore legend turned thirty-five-year-old dumb loser sellout was spotted walking over to his 2019 Mercedes while holding a gift meant for his “child.” “My wife and I are very proud of our daughter for being an avid reader at such a young age,” said Jenkins, the stupid fucking idiot. “We decided to use the money left over from the new house and car to begin saving up for her education.” Ugh. Who talks like that?! A new car, house, and a loving family? Nerd alert! This guy was once tearing it up in the pit harder than a grizzly bear on smack. Now he spends his days feeling happy and fulfilled? Gross! “I was only in Risk Damage for like six months,” explained Jenkins, “I left after landing an internship with a major consulting firm. Eventually, I worked my way up to